Today I got a phone call from my friend Tara, who is also my 1st counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. “Can you come get Katie? I am in the church parking lot. Judy Dailey got in a car accident. She hit a power pole. I’m trying to look in her car to see if she is all right…Oh, they’re telling me to move away because the line might fall down. The paramedics just got here. Oh, it is Judy, they just turned her over. I’m not sure what I need to do. Will you come get Katie so that maybe I can follow them to the hospital?”

I packed up my kids and went to the church–as far as I could. The road was blocked off. I parked by the police car, turned on my hazard lights, told my kids to stay in their seats, locked the doors, and ran to get Katie and her carseat. When I got to Tara she said, “She’s dead. They think that she died before she crashed. Her injuries weren’t enough to have killed her. They said they didn’t know if she had a heart condition and I told them she did. She had open heart surgery last year. She pulled out in front of me and I was following her and thinking, ‘That person is either drunk or asleep’ because she kept swerving. Then she swerved off the right side of the road and hit a garbage can and a mail box, then careened across traffic to the other side. It looked like she was going to hit a school bus and at the last second swerved a little more and hit the power pole. I realized ‘That’s Judy’ because who else drives a blue Toyota van that’s that old and that beat up?” She went on as we hurried Katie and her car seat to my car. Oh, I was dumb to leave my kids!! Jonah was in the front seat and the doors were unlocked. I am so thankful he stayed in the car. I just didn’t know what else to do.

So do we call the family? What do we do? The police told Tara to let the coroner’s office notify the family. I went home and called the bishop to let him know what happened. The we just waited. I was at a loss as to what to do. Another death? And so sudden. Another funeral to plan. Another dead body to dress…then Jonah dropped the snow globe. Glass and water and glitter and shepheds and sheep and angels all over the floor.

I wanted Barry to come home. I wanted help with these screaming kids and my swimming brain. I called. His phone was up in our bedroom. I tried to e-mail him. Couldn’t get his address right. I wanted to scream I was so frusterated. I tried to play with my kids in between phone calls.

It is hard to want to help, but feel powerless to do anything. All there is to do is wait.

So that was my day. Barry finally got home. I talked to Judy’s son. I met with the Bishop. I will go to the funeral home tomorrow or Thursday.

Well, the auctions ended. 5 of the 6 things I had up for sale sold. I say that’s pretty good. I will be listing more in a day or so.

My friend Terrah sent me this article. It’s about a new spinning shop in Logan. Oh, Logan. Beautiful place. I love that town. When I grow up I want to live there forever. Anyway, I think I will stop by this new shop and try to peddle my wares. I mean, don’t you think the fact I graduated from Utah State University right there in town could be a selling point? I don’t know. I think it would be cool.

On another note, I have had a crazy week so far. I have been fully initiated into Relief Society President-hood. And though I could write all about it and make it sound pretty funny, that would be totally inappropriate. What I feel like I can say is this: Heavenly Father is in control. I have been guided and strengthened and able to do more in a day than I ever thought I could. He loves each of us perfectly and infinitely–and in this position it is my blessing to feel that and try to share it as I care for others. What a blessing!

is, well, um…HUGE. My phone has not stopped ringing for 3 days. Well, I guess it’s not ringing now. It just rings while I’m nursing a baby and my other 2 kids are sledding down the stairs in a laundry basket. Either that or trying to do back flips off the couch–and my kids definitely aren’t good at back flips. All the phone ringing must coincide with a crisis, screaming, and nursing a baby. I don’t answer it then, but I do eventually have to return the calls. That’s when the fighting comes into play. My children have never fought so much until I had to make lots of phone calls, so I just ignore them and try to pay attention to what the person is saying at the other end of the line as the bigger kids climb into Logan’s crib and jump up and down and demolish his mobile while screaming at each other at the top of their lungs.

So, who’s idea was this?

I feel strangely peaceful about all of it. I’m just learning the ropes. I can do this. (positive thinking there)

Today was just crazy. Barry’s alarm didn’t go off. Who knows why. He probably just forgot to turn it on–or it had to do with the fact that we had each of our 3 children in bed with us for at least part of the night and his clock got knocked down somehow. Anyway, he woke up late. Pre-Presidency that would have been no big deal, but see, we only have one car. Barry missed the bus and it was raining, so he couldn’t make his usual bike ride. He had to take the car, but I had to be at the church at 11 to meet a truck with $500 worth of humanitarian aid for a local charity, and after that deliver groceries to a sister who just had surgery. He also had a lot of work to get done… Well, he came home early so that I could have the car. $500 worth of food is A LOT of food–a lot of really heavey food. And the woman who I delivered groceries to lived WAY out in the boonies. And I left my lights on while I was putting away her groceries, so I could not leave her house when I was done. Another sister who also lives way out in the boonies rescued me and jumped my car (because I had no jumper cables in it–just 3000 lbs of food).

Then it was Enrichment night. It was wonderful. We helped clean a clinic that helps migrant workers in the area. We stocked their pantry with food, we scrubbed the floors, wrapped Christmas presents and talked with each other.

It was also very humbling. I looked around and realized that if anyone from the outside looked at our group they would have no idea I’m the one in charge. I’m to akward and quiet around people I don’t know. I can never think of cute things to say or good questions to ask to keep a conversation going. I big groups of people I can not get my mind to focus–I never remember to take roll or…anything I should. I end up just watching a lot of the time… And I also realized that I am the youngest woman in the ward.

So, who’s idea was this again?

I did more today than I normally get done in a week. (Did I mention there is a fiber-arts show I am making new spindles for this Saturday? Yeah, that’s a lot of work too.) I’m hoping by next week I’ll figure this out so that week can remain sane and my children won’t be completely starved for my attention.

Heavenly Father is in charge here.

Good thing.

I was sustained as Relief Society president on Sunday. Crazy. Really crazy. I’m not old enough. I have too many little kids. This is going to be really hard, but I know it’s what I’m supposed to do…